Customer success vocabulary

"Are we ready to order?" The true reason waiters use the first person

There's a reason why a handful of phrases keep coming at us from public-facing workers across many industries. Decades and decades of trial and error have taught brands which words put customers at ease, which expressions to reach for, and which to avoid at all costs — like "unfortunately" or "I don’t know that." Let's explore 10 of the vocabulary tools used by waiters, hosts, receptionists, and customer service reps, and the real reasoning behind each one.

Have you ever been left wondering why your waitress keeps speaking in the first-person plural? That plural "we" has a name: linguists call it "the royal we", or nosism, meaning the substitution of a group pronoun for a singular one. Monarchs used it for centuries to speak as though they embodied an entire nation; King Edward VII was still doing it in official documents as late as 1902.

It’s unclear when restaurant servers picked up the habit, but it works. By including themselves in the sentence, waiters imply that every step of the dining experience is a team activity that they lead gladly.

When you thank your barista, receptionist, or cashier, you are more likely to hear "no problem" than "you’re welcome". This one stems from naturally friendly and gallant behavior that has set in society in recent decades.

Linguist Aaron Dinkin studied the phenomenon in 2017 and confirmed that younger speakers had opted out of "you’re welcome," since it suggests that effort was spent and is being graciously accepted. "No problem" is a humble assurance that the help cost nothing at all, even if it’s a little white lie at least half of the time.

Here’s something a customer never wants to hear: "Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about that." Experts advise never to use that adverb in the face of a customer’s problem, since it suggests the company is powerless or worse, indifferent.

Instead, the magic words to use are these: "Here's what I'm going to do for you." That will instantly please a customer who is looking for possible solutions. The phrase can be traced back to a 1980 policy at the Ritz-Carlton, where co-founder Horst Schulze gave every employee the authority to spend up to $2,000 per guest fixing a problem on the spot.

In 1936, Dale Carnegie wrote in How to Win Friends and Influence People that a person's name is "the sweetest and most important sound in any language," and customer service training is careful to apply that wisdom.

Hearing your own name signals that you're being treated as a person rather than a ticket number. Modern software made the trick easier, since caller ID and account records now hand an agent your name before they've said hello. It can backfire, though; hearing one’s name repeatedly in the middle of a heated conversation can become irritating and sound like mockery.

An alternative to this one is "that would upset me, too." These phrases are a nod to the notion that the client is always right. Companies now admit that the latter is not necessarily true, though, but that often, indulging a customer's complaint, however unreasonable, is cheaper than losing their trust.

"That shouldn't have happened" updates the idea: it validates how a customer feels without declaring them factually correct. Researchers coined the term "service recovery paradox" in 1992 after finding that customers who complain and get an empathetic, competent response often end up more loyal than customers who never had a problem at all.

The two most empathetic words an agent can say are these. The concept behind it is called "active listening." It was so named in a 1957 essay by psychologist Carl Rogers and Richard Farson, and it didn't come from business at all. It came from Rogers's therapy sessions, where he found that people couldn't move toward a solution until they felt genuinely heard first.

Sales trainers later built an entire technique around the same insight, nicknamed "Feel, Felt, Found," which opens with exactly this line before pivoting to a fix. The order matters more than the words, because agents know that offering a solution before acknowledging the feeling can make people argue harder.

This is the go-to sentence to use instead of a dreaded "I can't help you with that." In the industry, this is called a "warm transfer," as opposed to the far more common and far more resented "cold transfer," where you're bounced to a stranger who has no idea why you called and makes you start over. Ideally, a rep will personally explain your problem to another expert and build a bigger team to come up with solutions.

This is the euphemism phrase to use in place of "I don't know." It’s friendly, humble, and a preamble to a brief research that will follow. Technically, saying "That’s a great question" in a conversation is a stalling tactic. It borrows a few seconds through flattery while the brain scrambles for an answer.

In 1963, a Worcester, Massachusetts commercial artist named Harvey Ball was paid $45 to design a simple smiling face for an insurance company, State Mutual Life Assurance, meant only to boost employee morale. Seven years later, two Philadelphia brothers paired the design with the words "Have a Happy Day," soon changed to "Have a Nice Day," trademarked the combination, and sold more than 50 million pins by 1972.

The four words have now become the obligatory send-away greeting that some businesses even write in their windows. It has also become the default sign-off for practically every customer transaction in America; "goodbye" might sound too dramatic.

"Found everything ok?" That question usually greets customers when they reach the cashier in retail stores. It can be traced back to Walmart's national "People Greeter" program in the 1980s, designed to do two things at once: make shoppers feel noticed and discourage theft.

The restaurant version of the same check-in is the "How’s everything?" a few minutes after bringing the food to the table. Waiters are trained to ask this to spot possible complaints early on, and also to remind customers that someone’s paying attention to their experience.

Unique ceremonies

Discover 10 of the weirdest traditions from around the world!

Image: Dan Parlante

When you think about it, traditions are a truly unique breed, aren’t they? After all, they come in all shapes and sizes, from a small family tradition involving a special breakfast treat to an annual activity shared by an entire community. In that sense, some traditions around the world may seem downright strange to a keen observer. That’s why we’ve decided to highlight 10 of the weirdest traditions from all over the world for your enjoyment. Keep reading and have fun!

Image: Vantha Thang

It’s no secret that Canada is a cold country, and Yukon is definitely one of the coldest regions, with temperatures reaching -81°F in winter. While these harsh temperatures can certainly be challenging, that doesn’t mean residents can’t find fun things to do in the cold. Locals have a unique tradition that involves dipping their heads into the waters of hot springs and waiting for the cold air to freeze them in place, leaving behind some fun icicles in the process.

Image: Katrin Leinfellner

You might have some fond childhood memories of rolling down a hill, surely in a safe and controlled environment. However, "Cooper's Hill Cheese-Rolling and Wake," an event held in Gloucester, England, is nothing like those childhood tumbles. For starters, there’s a concrete reward for whoever reaches the bottom of the 200-yard-long hill first: a wheel of Double Gloucester cheese, which is rolled downhill in front of all participants who chase after it. This beloved tradition has been held in Gloucester since at least the 19th century.

Image: Jonathan Gensicke

Every year, the city of Lopburi, Thailand, organizes a thank-you banquet for some of its most unique residents: the thousands of monkeys that dwell there. Lopburi is famous for its monkey population, which has adapted to city life and is regularly fed by the locals. However, once a year, during an event known as the Monkey Buffet Festival, people offer fruits and vegetables to the city’s monkeys.

Image: CHUTTERSNAP

When you think about it, weddings involve a fair share of weird traditions: from wearing something blue to tossing a bouquet to an excited crowd, newlyweds have to go through an extremely unique checklist. In that sense, the German tradition of Polterabend, while definitely unique, doesn’t seem all that out of place. In this tradition, wedding guests break porcelain to bring the new couple good luck in their marriage. Polterabend is based on an old German adage, "Scherben bringen Glück," which translates to "Shards bring luck."

Image: philippe collard

All Americans have fond memories of carving a Jack-O-Lantern for Halloween: after all, this holiday is characterized by the scary, creepy, or even goofy faces we carve on our pumpkins. In that sense, the city of Oaxaca, Mexico, holds an annual event every December 23rd known as Noche de Rábanos, which is Spanish for "Night of the Turnips." On this holiday, thousands of people carve intricate and detailed scenes into overgrown turnips, with the most creative carvings competing for several prizes.

Image: Imad 786

Scrambled eggs are a fun, nutritious, and delicious way to start your day, and in the lovely Bosnian town of Zenica, they have a special significance. On the celebration known as Cimburijada, which loosely translates to "Festival of Scrambled Eggs," residents of Zenica gather to enjoy a communal meal of, of course, scrambled eggs. This celebration is held on the first day of spring, making it a wonderful way to welcome the warm season.

Image: Pixabay

As we mentioned before, weddings often involve some rather quirky traditions, but Denmark takes it a step further. If you’re Danish and happen to be unmarried by the time you turn 25, be prepared for your friends and family to throw cinnamon at you. Not only that, if you turn 30 and are still unmarried, you might find yourself covered in another type of spice: black pepper.

Image: Immo Wegmann

Let’s take a quick break to pay homage to a staple of '80s TV shows and movies: the food fight. We could mention countless examples of iconic scenes in which unidentified scoops of food go flying into the faces of joyous teenagers, while someone excitedly yells, "Food fight!" to the crowd. With that in mind, we’d like to highlight some massive, real-life food fights that happen all around the world. For starters, we have La Tomatina, a festival held in Buñol, Spain, where attendees hurl tomatoes at each other. Another example takes place in Ivrea, Italy, during Carnival, where thousands of people enjoy hurling oranges at anyone in sight.

Image: Tyler Donaghy

Up until now, we’ve been focusing on weird customs from abroad, but the truth is that we Americans have our fair share of quirky traditions. One of them is even broadcast from the steps of the White House. The Presidential Turkey Pardon has been a staple of every administration since George H. W. Bush issued the first ceremonial "pardon" in 1989. The pardoned turkeys are then sent to live out their remaining years on a farm or at a petting zoo.

Image: Steve Wrzeszczynski

We’ll end this article with what is probably the weirdest tradition we could find. Groundhog Day is a truly unique celebration that takes place in the United States and Canada on February 2nd, a tradition that dates back to the first European settlers in both countries. The basis of this tradition is an old superstition that states if a groundhog emerges from its burrow on this day and sees its shadow, winter will last for six more weeks. The most famous Groundhog Day celebration in America is held in Punxsutawney, a borough in western Pennsylvania, and revolves around a famous groundhog known as "Punxsutawney Phil."